Going by the years in retrospect, when the first time, (somewhere in 2000), I came across the life changing event, I was too sweet to understand the bitterness associated with the event. The innocence of a 12 year old brought me to a situation that the tragic part of the event was never into my mind and for me, this change was more of a winter adventure, where in I expected myself to travel to a new city, make new friends and may be to find a better place to live. Not that I didn't love my home(have till date failed to see a replica of it), just that my amateurism took me to new scenarios. Time fled (the best thing about time), fortunately my brain started responding to the change, the nasty reality had its place more solid in my mind than what I expected my journey to be. I could actually look back and ask my mom "what is this? Has the world changed"?. "No, the world never changed, just that we failed to bring a change". She replied in a gentle and congenial tone. This was not something my ears heard for the first time, but from there on, I could actually understand as to what exactly has happened to us. My heart cried for having understood all the series, but my eyes never did, perhaps I knew it is far cry and late to regret. All I could understand was- my family has taken a decision and I am part of it, not just the part of it, I have to be a full fledged support to my parents, to my brother and it is we, who have to initiate the recovery.
With no turn back, that day and today, all our events , whatever the family did had been for the four. We are still to see a perfect day, but obviously each day had its moments, some were good to keep them in heart and many were too furious to give a second thought. Life , for a long period, went off the way god shaped the new story, the one we never liked, but like the freshers, we had no choices to make. From being into school, a couple of board results, brother's admission to the engineering, a trio of house changes, thousands of ironies, some gags , to my admission in the college, the levels just crossed. As they say ,success has many relatives, failures (even the temporary ones) have none, the family of four had less people to talk with, the decision of destiny not just affected the communication, it also brought a fundamental change in my feelings, to my conviction and probably to my opinions about people and life. Hardly I could see any fourth guy whom I expected to be on my side(rather our side) and who I could easily bank on...
Came 2005, my college time,no wonder how big the early jitters were, we had fought back to have at least five years behind our new life. Dad's elder and obedient son was almost an engineer and mum's witty-kid(can't say whizkid) could least manage a seat in the main campus of state's very own and acknowledged university. Not that I did not have options to choose from, but engineering had its own intrinsic problems those days.The colleges had a separation in three streams- the likes of IITs/NITs, the govt colleges and the money-guzzling privates.
I thought myself to be over smart(even today I do), so instead of making people say that I failed to get into IITs, I could easily make them say that I didn't appear in IIT, as my interest was much into focus on cbse. I could easily skip the IIT assessment and made way to the NITs through Architecture. Obviously the two problems a guy faces in life is- either he has too many options or has none. By the grace of God, the fortunes took me to option one, where I had a special thali of items(sorry colleges) to choose from, and I did. As a decision of we four, I landed up choosing a cult career, that is , a science student having scored 96 in the subject made into commerce by choosing MBA(integrated) as an option.
(I think I will continue to write till the end, need another part to sum it up)
Read Part 2 for next
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