The departure of my shyness(did it?) in contrast to my earlier way of life eventually became my beliefs. I tried to be more open and thus explorative. However, I was failing in understanding the people around. I could never interpret them thoroughly, yes their expressions always cleared that we are the buzz to be talked about.
I failed to get as to why amongst the 250 something people, wherein roughly 70% were into relationship(sometimes more than one), I was singled to become news. It appeared as if the college dean had directed everyone to solve a case study over us. The B school students may have missed to read the cases by Kotler, but curiosity to hear about my mood swings became a long lasting appetite. Not that I heard anything strange about me,the sign language made the communication. I wonder, if our fights, my mood,restlessness, and facial expressions were that ugly to set up a chatterbox.
If the God's grace kept me into the light for being innocent and intelligent for all the years(even today), the glorified relationship showcased me for the grapevine. My thought of being socially perfect seemed to have fiddled in the middle. We had been nearly zero on the pda index(Public display of affection), yet we had to accumulate friends and people together, even if a movie had to be planned. Yeah, if on some occasions, I happened to date, a perfect collision with people of disinterest was certain. Nevertheless, If almighty gives me one opportunity to change one element of the past, I would expect him to eliminate the social attribute from my mind.
And the change was not something invisible to our families also. To me, a disguised expression from somebody in the college didn't matter much.(Nidhi will never agree to this), but anything coming from family had the highest priority. Sms exchange with the express speed, overnight calls(caught about twice, no wonder mum didn't express that she heard ), the absence of mind, the quick fire mood variation, everything assured my mom about the development. I respect mum to have handled it so nice that she never argued even if she knew that I was lying about something. she would even stand by me on occasions where dad's anger about me using phone while eating peaked new heights. I was into this for four years now, but mum (even if she never shows) had something to worry.
May be I also knew about it, but was she waiting for the right time? Did she want that worry to be trashed ? Did she want time to just fly for things to set in?
Nidhi, by now, had an access to my mum, dad, and even brother. I got certified to be dumb to avoid this also. As expected, it was only by her efforts that she extended her affection to the people whom I owe my life. I would often bring the goodies, foods, crafts(all made by her, she was excellent in creativity) to my home, on the birthdays, the anniversaries and even without occasions(as if she had theorized- Everyday is special:-)).
She would often message my brother and talk to her about me, obviously to say how stupid I am.:). None of the two knew that I could access their conversations. She would call him angry young man and I would always differ about this, as I could see a change in him, He actually started using smileys in the sms, which she had always been stressing about. He would never tell me(he is elder, I respect him for this), but hardly there was anything that Ndhi missed to disseminate to my ears.(Her specialty).
I was happy to see things taking such developments, which to my understanding were right, but destiny had something else in the store. As they say, things do not work as you plan, things go the destiny way. Love, for a longer span, made me forget that I always knew what is next. The fear I could see in the eyes of mum, was known to every character this distinct story had.
I was always certain about fear. Did i wanted to trust time?
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