Exams were round the corner and this time I was serious about many problems that were broadcasting in my mind. I was worried about the results, final year being the placement time I had a feeling to been rejected, and lastly, I was to sign off those five years in college. No wonder , I entered college with no expectations, but the period was turning memorable for couple of good reasons.
Examination thing, thanks to god, has never been a critical span of time. I have slept maximum during these days. However, I had the highest level of insecurity when I used to glare people reading(often cramming) the notes. My doctor style handwriting never impressed and convinced any guy to bank on my notes. Today, I will like to reveal the darker side of mine, my fear for exams was never about appearing in them, it was always about the results and the time. I do not know why but ,despite being distinctly ahead in all evaluations, I always had the face the misery of finale. The results , a couple of times, didn't go my way, and in none of those occasions, I could accept as to why I had to face the music. I may not have pretend, but I always knew that I have had so much to say and write which nobody didn't even go through. A kid inside me would want to confess that I envied everyone who topped the chart. Sometimes I even felt that how can examiner just look at the colours,use of pencils, writing and presentation to evaluate the things. Sorry folks, but I have to be honest about feeling superior to many of us atleast on the result day. I always knew that the numbers do not matter, but when people started writing me off for being in a relationship, the numbers mattered more. Windstorm of criticism after the eighth semester results brought too much of the outrage(despite a quantum increase in the numbers).
Ninth semester almost signed off with decent attempt in exams. Obviously handicapped from readable writing, the only thing I could do good was to write as best I can, from the sources I thought, no one would access to. As they say, if your answers cannot convince them, they should be good enough to confuse them :), the fear was now translating towards the big corporate dreams.
The stint of hope given by the campus and inaugural batch almost blew off by the recessionary conditions all over. Not that India wasn't shining anymore, but companies got all possible reasons to clean up. They not only fired the existing range , but also wiped the pipeline. None of the good companies therefore turned up for the second batch. The fall of Lehman brothers , us economy might have spoil million lives, ignorantly those international issues were also reducing the sustainability of million dollar smiles. With less hopes, yet a conviction, a core team of members was setup, the rationale was to work cohesively towards "each one- should get one", that is, at least securing a single job for everyone. The team did initiate the work, and it also reached the objective - "each one- had one", not in the respect of a job, everyone in the batch atleast had one issue to fight about.
X didn't like Y to have favored Z for working on K, Y according to P should have worked with Q on an assignment called L. A cycle of worthless claims, vicious issues gave us the best result. Neither the institute could help us, nor did we do. Even at the sign off, T and U were more worried for P having a better picture than not having a campus offer to work.
Nevertheless , a beautiful trip to Jaipur, a series of good events and pretty decent chemistry amongst us, did give a relief for ninth semester to log off. My fear , to the end of college was still there. I was never worried about leaving my friends forever, as I always knew I will be with them and I will always have an access to them. I was more worried about my relationship that had to pass the biggest test now, the call of Destiny.
When you are happy, the time accelerates, this was happening. All my attempts to make hold of time seemed to have failed for one reason or other.
I was heading towards the end of a beautiful period, the god was the architect to it and it was only he who showed no mercy.
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